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Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Wings of change

My day started off as usual for a Tuesday, I did my normal morning stuff, and then the government funded transportation service I use came. I felt extremely fortunate when I saw that that I had a driver, whom I actually like, and respect. He and his wife are from Bosnia, both hard working, honest, kind hearted souls. It's just nice when the first person I see, after leaving the house, is someone I already know, and think well of, as I have had some frustrating experiences with some others with this service. The ride brought me to the psychology office my program mandates I attend, or so I thought. I spent last week complaining about my experiences, and learned I had options. Yes! Yesterday, I composed an email denoting my difficulties/ distaste with this individuals methods, sent it, and today followed up on that message in person. Not an easy thing to psyche yourself up to do, I will say being that it's unprofessional not to follow up, when you've already made the commitment, I felt like I needed to physically speak my peace.
Arriving, and waiting for someone to arrive to open the building, I was quite nervous, as I didn't want to display animosity, or become emotional, period. Not always the easiest trick in the book, but once I was inside, I handled myself better than expected, as did the therapist. Such a relief, I felt like an enormous weight had been lifted from me, by leaving that office forever!
I was also extremely fortunate to have enlisted the assistance of my step-dad, Marty, who has always been one, of many supportive resources for me. It was such a relief stepping out of the office to someone I know is willing to take my thoughts and feelings about a situation into consideration, before bombarding me with their judgements and connotations. He was very supportive, and happy for me, which was such a relief upon walking away from a situation you've dealt with for so long, but never actually thought you benefitted from.

I get that expressing yourself is an important part of everyone's life. That's one of my key motivating factors for writing. But, for me, sitting in a room with someone whose been recommended for your case, and being expected to act as if I'm an open book, is not within my psychological abilities. Therefore, or for many reasons I'm finished expecting results, or even a conversation where I learn,!or grow. Such a relief to have made, what I feel is a. Plosive change to my support team!

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