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Wednesday, September 25, 2013

All in a 'fall'day

Today began in normal fashion.  I got up, a bit after 7,  got my running gear on, and foraged in the kitchen.  I was excited to find a remaining chocolate croissant, in the my mind, any day that begins with chocolate, is a good day.  Little did I know, that theory would be tested.  I got my things together, and Marc, my roommate/ live in aide appeared to a announce he was getting the car.  I was hastily throwing turkey on some bread, for my lunch.  To be thorough, it was an avocado hummus, turkey, lettuce, and smoked bacon sandwich.  Yum! It's such a lifesaver, to live with someone as helpful, as Marc.  I can take the bus, however, it takes 3x as long, to get to a destination 4 mile away.  When I first suffered this injury, I couldn't bear to entertain the idea that the next however many years of my life, I'd be faced with depending on others for everything.  Oddly, the more independence I regain, the more frustrated, and sometimes angry, I become when kindly, but unknowing souls, offer me help.

This morning, I enjoyed a more coordinated than usual session in PT.  my muscles complained a bit more than usual though, as I was just coming back, after 2 weeks, away.  Ray, the therapist, I work with, has developed a unique routine for me, that majorly focuses on strengthening muscles I need to maintain my balance.  I get to haul a sandbag around, twist every way possible, while bearing weight in my arms, do sit-ups, push-ups,among other exercises.  I'm slow, and my movements aren't coordinated, but, I always feel as if my physical abilities, are improving.  It's not something I really notice day to day, but usually, after PT, I head for a run on the bike path, as they're located on the path.

Moving along, I was appreciating the sunshine, and trying to remember to be thankful for the opportunities I do have in my life right now.  I planned to run 7 today, so, I hit the path, ran to what I thought was the end, though, today, I learned it is not, it actually turns left, and away from the lake.  Anyways, I ran to my goal point, and turned around for the jog back. In the last mile I put my foot in a divot, my brain wasn't prepared to handle, and I won't down, on my face.  It was so fast, I couldn't save my face, I quickly sat up, huddled in a ball, against the fence.  I knew I had to get it together, to get back, but I could feel that I'd chipped my teeth, and I don't deal with the cosmetic injuries well.  Generally because, I know it looks terrible, and I'll be forced to explain my face, everywhere I go.  I sat in my sobbing ball of self pity for a few minutes, until, I heard a cyclist stop to inquire if I was okay.  By then, I was horrendously embarrassed, and still mad at myself, for tripping.

I raised my bloody, tender face, and said that I was, but I was also quite angry.  The man, said that was understandable, but he needed to ask me some questions.  I didn't want to talk, as my lips were tender, and bloody, but I answered the 5 typical concussion questions: name, age, birthday, current location, where I'm from.  There was no one to confirm my answers, but I had no trouble, although, I had to explain that I have aphasia, and how I speak, IS my normal voice, he handed me a towel, to clean my face, and advised I stand, to reduce swelling.  I wasn't ready too, so I asked him questions, and I learned about what he does, graveyard caretaker, which I found surprising, as I'd assumed he was in the medical field.  He'd been a personal care taker, until his parents took ill, and I felt very grateful he was such a talker.  He wanted to walk me back to safety, so, we walked back to On Track, where I'd started.  I thanked him for his help, and concern, and prepared myself to show my face among people I did know.  I went to the locker room, and inspected my mouth.  I have fun  abrasion above my mouth, swollen lips, and dented teeth.  I immediately grabbed my phone, to call the dentist.  Last time I damaged teeth, I went through, a terrible process of finding a dentist, and paying for 'cosmetic work' as the state doesn't cover that type of stuff.  Little did I know, I had dental insurance.  Needless to say, it was a learning process.  Today, I called the dentist I see here, and they got me in for 9am tomorrow. Easy.  Guess I have learned something's along the way.

I've beed doing a lot of reflecting recently, on how much improvements, my brain, and body have made thought this process.  I am so rarely able to look at the big picture, and today, I could, even though, I massacred my face.  So, in that sense there's always something good to come out of any mistake.  Usually, it's an opportunity to learn something, so, at least there's that...