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Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Denied

Last month I was thrilled to have an opportunity to be interviewed for the possibility of an internship under the revered name of Bernie Sanders. Going in to the interview, I felt off-base, and extremely nervous. I couldn't find the correct unmarked door, making me late, which is a terrible first impression. I finally had to call and ask, which is beyond embarrassing in my book. It was also about 80 degrees that morning, which I had not anticipated, and arrived soaked in my own sweat. Obviously, first-impressions ate my forte. Although, I really did not feel confident in my appearance.

I have to admit, I now feel like a fool waiting for someone to hand me a bone. That is certainly not the impression I wish to give off, but for where I am in my life today, it's incomparable to my pre- injury life. I literally had zero idea about the complexities in American government, and how many people work under the auspice of one great name, and leader. I assumed I'd be an unlikely candidate, given my lack of professional, and academic qualifications, although, I left my interview feeling collected and confident I'd attempted to answer my interview questions , as honestly, and explanatory as possible. I'm very nervous in these situations, because I don't want to seem unappreciative, yet, also, I feel it's important to be honest about what has failed, and what has worked. My unwillingness to work with my team, in certain regards, has been my biggest downfall, but that's who I am. I never learned to appreciate teamwork on a concrete level, and always have felt teamwork represent weakness for me, as an individual. At least working together on projects. Its the 'only-child' in me. A political venue probably would bring light to this weakness, yet also allow me to strengthen that skill set, which was one of the reasons I was very excited about the possibility.

I returned home from the Y and dinner, opened my email, saw the letter from the state office, and instantly had a bad feeling about it, which confirmed my fears that I wasn't chosen. I have to admit, I was instantly devastated, even though I was well aware my chances were slim. I really feel I need an opportunity to work in a office that is consistent about supporting constituents, and what an incredible way to give back to a community that helped me in so many ways. Would've been nice, but, I'll just have to work harder at making my accomplishments more well know. Definitely not a pleasant moment, when you receive a letter confirming that you were not offered a position you really wanted. It's all part of the game though, you win some, you lose some. Not receiving this internship was a loss for me, but going to the interview I learned a lot about myself, and how to handle myself in situations where i need to highlight my strengths and abilities. My favorite, telling you how awesome I am, and why you should like/hire me. Agh, it just seems like such a fallacy, and I can't get over it right now. Job hunting is so much fun...










1 comment:

Julie/Mom said...

Very sorry to hear the denial but as you say, some good has come out of it. Next time will go smoother in the interview faze.
I hope your trip to Co. goes well and have a wonderful time!! Can't wait to hear all about it and see some pics!