Upon returning home, I put my foot up, and canceled my evening plans to attend movement meditation. By the time 5pm rolled around, and the fierce pain continued to persist, even despite aspirin, I decided to go to the walk in clinic. It didn't look broken, but it felt, as if it was, so I decided to aire on the side of caution. I learned about a new kind fracture. Apparently, I received a fragment fracture,where a tiny piece of bone, flaked off my toe. They can't do anything for it, other than tell me the importance of wearing hard soled shoes, and give me a hard soled sandal to support, and protect the toe. Obviously sandals are not ideal, this time of year, so I wear it at home, and tape other weird, crooked, overlapping toes out of way. The doctor explained the fracture, but told me, it was likely the pressure, from the amount of blood under my toenail, was likely causing a great amount of the pain. He explained his plan, to drill a hole in my toenail, to release the pressure. I greed to it, but I could not watch him place the drill, and make the hole. It wasn't really painful, but the idea of a drill, anywhere on my body, while I'm awake, and mentally aware, seemed disgusting. Thankfully, he was right, it didn't really hurt, and the force pressure dissipated quickly. It had been really strange to feel my pulse in my big toe. Forget weird, it seemed disgusting, actually. By the time I got home, and had eaten,mi checked out my foot again, and the swelling had drastically gone down. It made me so happy, I had decided to seek treatment.
I miss the activity of my normal days, but, on the bright side, it's forcing me to work on my writing, and research of a plan for where, and how to move on, after the end of my 6 year rehabilitation program. I won't have that figured out for a while, but need to find a fulfilling way to support myself, and leave the weight of public funding behind me. I've appreciated the security it's given me, through rehab, and also the cogniscence of my dad, with regard yo orchestrating the programs, with the help of all the medical professionals, and rehab. specialists. I feel as if I've lost the prime of my life, to this injury, but, I also feel there's a lot of my life, to reclaim, and build upon. I decided 3 weeks ago, to go for a marathon, this year. I became sick, the week after that. I'd actually forgotten how terrible it feels to lose all of your energy, and will. Misery. I finally, felt like myself again, last week, and was 3 days into a perfect running week, when an iron ball hit my foot. So, that's a set-back, but hopefully the pain, in my left foot disappears soon. It's already, no longer resembling a sausage, although, it's a terrific purple color. I'm going back to PT Monday, and can't wait to get back to being more active!