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Monday, October 22, 2012

Deep, dark depths...

Sometimes I wonder if my focus on running is a metaphor for my life. I tremendously unhappy with certain aspects of my life presently, but, through all the bad turns, the moment I step outside, and start pushing that ridiculous jogger, I feel better. I know it helps me mentally work through the days missteps, and also helps me to reconnect neuronal pathways for balance, and, hopefully, agility. I dream that one day I won't need to use a jogger for balance, and that ill be able to elongate my stride, and pick up my pace. Yep, that will be the day.

The consensus seems to be presently, that I move from event, as a method of fleeing from government funded disaster of a rehab program. I really didn't agree with that allegation, but now, as I face my last event of the year, I wonder if I somehow, have misguided myself, into a frenzied, action oriented life style, once again, .. because that's my true nature, or because it takes me out of the demeaning, negative lifestyle, I'm currently up to my eyeballs in. I live between a rock, and a hard place currently. Mentally, I just want to leap off, and hit the ground running! Physically, we all know I'm not there yet, but, I can say, I get closer everyday, even if it doesn't feel that way.


Julie/Mom said...

It's probably a little of both. I think it is always hard to realize that this is the last event of the year and you so enjoy it and now all you have to do is the mundain lifestyle of winter. Join the club...I beleive it's the same for everyone. And like it or not, your gov. funded programs have helped out in many ways albeit not in "all" ways you would want.
Have a great last trip of the year to D.C. and run your best! Can't wait to hear all about it! I love you...

Dad said...

I want to say, I respect and admire your drive and desire in your athletic goals!

I know as you move forward, these successes will help you find those objectives that will fulfill you in other areas of your life. ( at least that is how it works for me )

You are the best! You are Awesome! 2 1/2 Marathons this year... I have been so blessed to have be able to share those events with you. I wish I could run with you in D.C.!p

I support your goals! Onward and Upward!



Marti said...

I, too, will always support your goals.I think running is a healthy outlet. And don't forget about winter snowboarding.

Have fun in DC and good luck!