Sometimes I wonder if my focus on running is a metaphor for my life. I tremendously unhappy with certain aspects of my life presently, but, through all the bad turns, the moment I step outside, and start pushing that ridiculous jogger, I feel better. I know it helps me mentally work through the days missteps, and also helps me to reconnect neuronal pathways for balance, and, hopefully, agility. I dream that one day I won't need to use a jogger for balance, and that ill be able to elongate my stride, and pick up my pace. Yep, that will be the day.
The consensus seems to be presently, that I move from event, as a method of fleeing from government funded disaster of a rehab program. I really didn't agree with that allegation, but now, as I face my last event of the year, I wonder if I somehow, have misguided myself, into a frenzied, action oriented life style, once again, .. because that's my true nature, or because it takes me out of the demeaning, negative lifestyle, I'm currently up to my eyeballs in. I live between a rock, and a hard place currently. Mentally, I just want to leap off, and hit the ground running! Physically, we all know I'm not there yet, but, I can say, I get closer everyday, even if it doesn't feel that way.