Technically, I believe the definition of crazy, is something like, the act of repeating the same process, but expecting a different outcome. Well today, I took off my hardcore ice cleats for running, and as I bent down to put them under the futon, I saw the bag, in a corner I've checked a few times, in plain sight. I used to do this kind of stuff from time to time in college, where I'd misplace things, and find them in a rather obvious spot, the next day, after I'd turned my living space inside out. But now it takes 4 months, and 3-4 intense cleaning frenzies, before I randomly see it, in plain view? So ridiculous, but, inside, was a bonus. My favorite sunglasses. Completely unexpected. Although, surprising. I'm, let's face it, rather anal about keeping glasses, in cases. I'm wearing glasses to cut the glare, and see better, not wonder why my world looks scratched. I felt confused, and a bit angry with myself, when I wanted to just appreciate the fact I'd located 2 missing items. So weird. I had a grilled cheese sandwich, and wondered about solutions to loosing, or thinking I've lost my stuff. Immediately, after finding the bag, I went to look for my favorite wine glass, and then this sweet mountain hard wear hoodie, that went missing last fall. They both had sentimental value, so I went nuts looking for them, because I'd just found 2 other favorite things. I guess I've settled the question, 'am I crazy? Yes, folks I am. I went looking for things I knew were missing, and expected to find them, that's a different outcome. Therefore, by association, I am crazy. Glad I've settled that one. I imagine anyone reading this, has now concluded, that I am a fool, as well, because they already knew this to be true. But let's face it, it's easy to go around pointing the finger at others, but, stepping back to look at yourself, that's just scary. Really, I did not need to realize I truly fit the definition of crazy. Sure it's funny, I suppose, but that information doesn't help me in any way.
And then, it was time for community meditation. There's a potluck dinner before hand. We all sit down, and share wholesome delicious foods. I love pot lucks, as they're a great opportunity to try new foods, or things you're not accustomed to eating, and you haven't wasted money, on buying meal you don't appreciate. That's a win, in my book.
The monk who generally leads this meditation has a great sense of humor. I'm by no means an authority on this subject, but I did not become I tested in meditation, because I foresaw amusement potential. When he's trying to be comedi, it's usually dry/sarcastic, and other times' it's clearly not his intention to be funny, but there's a beautiful opportunity for a light hearted jab, and I can't help myself. Fortunately, he's very good natured about the harrament. There's always a personal reflection towards the end of the meeting, and tonight's discussion related to happiness, and a mathematical formula. Math is not a forte I easily relate to, howevever this equation was relatively simple. In effect it represented the solution that desire does not equal happiness. Stated so simply, I don't know how anyone could disagree with that. We see examples of this everyday. Say you want your morning coffee. You get it, and theoretically, in that moment, you should be happy. But, as you take your first sip, you burn your mouth so badly, and now your day seems ruined, and the list goes on and on. In the end I took away 3 steps, or main principles.
1. That we all need to slow down and appreciate things, individualally.
2. Desires can be in good context, or bad, but happiness is commonly viewed as pure good, thus arises a need to be mindful with regard to your desires.
3. Finding the key to happiness is relatively easy, unlocking it, is the hard part.
How do you like them apples? It was a really enlightening group discussion, and very intesting to realize that each of us has independent views on the meaning of happiness. I needed clarification, on the difference between goals, and desires, in this context. The answer is to break things down into a smaller picture. I understand that, it makes sense, but I don't look at all the small stuff, I look at the big picture, that's how I see the world, so I didn't find the response as helpful as I'd hoped the answer would be more concrete, like the original equation. In conclusion, I'm not any closer to achieving true happiness, than I was 4 hours ago, before I listed to this talk. Although, on the bright side, I have now concluded ethereal questions are, indeed, a waste of time.