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Monday, November 26, 2012

Maine-iacs! (Homeward bound for the holiday of Thankfulness (and Turkey)

This year I had so many incredible experiences, and adventures, there was much to be thankful for! As Ive become increasingly more aware of my 'new-found' abilities, with each opportunity I have to push myself. I am so blessed to receive these amazing opportunities, for not only my physical involvement, but also emotional evolvement. This is a part of my world, I'm so rarely able to detail, well, because it terrifies me. Fr so long, my world was devoid of emotion outside of the extremes, beyond happy, excited, or angry, and freighted. Though mostly it's flat- line. The fact that I never cared, even if I knew t should really bothered me. I just couldn't process t, and wished expletives old calm down. On that note, I feel like our society in general, has taken the hysteria level of life, a notch too high.maybe, it's just the world I live in now, although, I see to notice it everywhere. So bizarre. And now, as my feelings have reappeared, and in full force , it's overwhelming. I'm nervous around everyone, and have zero confidence in myself. That, in itself is difficult right now. Now, I'm almost partial o my lack of ability to be self-conscious , nervous, or dejected. The past 5 years have held so much of each, from losing loved ones, termination of relationships, a parent fighting cancer. , to the other side with amazing family vacations, the weddings of close friends,attempting to return to working, opening the door to adaptive adventures. This year alone has brought me all over the country, to participate in my style of adventures, and for being given the gift of rediscovering my passion r outdoor recreation, I could not be more grateful!

Though, as is traditional of this holiday, the spotlight of gratitude should really highlight those closet to you. My parents, have contributed more time, energy, and money to my recovery, and continued happiness than any might ever imagine. It's funny, growing up, I was nearly estranged from my dad, as I became an adult, that changed, and our relationship became more solidified, he could not be more dedicated, always willing to help me with my ridiculous ideas to get back to enjoying the world. Because of the severity of my injury, I couldn't, and really still haven't processed how unbelievable my progress is from 5 years ago. I recently dug back through the blog, to my inpatient days. I remember some of Spaulding rehab. and all of Crotched Mountain rehab. But looking back onAt, I remember how nieve I was. You could not convince me he long, and intricate the rehab. process would be. Looking back, I'm glad I couldn't accept that, because I've learned that over time, the more you put into your life, and others, the more you receive back to you in return. This is an old realization, as in many people have realized this over the years, well before me. I know, the first time I heard that statement, I probably rolled my eyes, and continued rushing through whatever I'd been doing. I'm still in disbelief over how much we miss, simply because we're moving so quickly from one thing to another, without actually processing those changes, or how they may affect our lives. The good must always balance the bad. This year I have 2 lists, one of things I'm very thankful for, and another of things I'm OT thankful or, and want to change. Though, this post is celebrating appreciation, and thanks, so I'd like to focus on the first.

This year I'm thankful to have such a supportive family, because d be in my own little horror show, without their love, and support, I'm also tankful to have had the opportunity to have had the opportunity to attend the 'No Barriers' conference last year, and for all f the amazing connections I've made his year, from that event. Having the opportunity to Participate in outdoor recreation again, feeds my soul.

See, life s just all around better, when you focus on what makes you happy, not what doesn't,or inventing new ways to cover emotional grief. Just sayin' I feel better, about finding my path into a productive, independently sustained lifestyle. I still have 2 years left of being a certifiable twenty-something. I need to make he most of them, since I'ms lowly regaining my own values, and traits. Check, something else I'm I'm thankful for!

5 comments:

Dad said...

A big hug and A big kisskiss to you oh adventurous one!

Your goals help keep me on track too, there might be pun in there...

Carry on and I look forward to our next event!

Love,
Dad

Marti said...

Wonderful entry, Court. We are all very blessed and thankful to have you in our lives.

Love you!

Aunt Marti

Julie/Mom said...

What a lovely post. It's nice to see you write about your positive achievements and salute your Dad and others who have done so much for/with you. You certainly deserve it and any one of us would do anything we can to help you get back on track.....you are already 95% there! See you in a couple of weeks! Love you the most! Mom

Joyce B said...

You're an amazing young women Courtney and I really admire your strength and vitality!

Anonymous said...

You are blessed to have such a loving Mom and Dad! I would also say the are blessed to have you! You do find joy in every journey! Enjoy the season!
Lisa