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Tuesday, December 20, 2011

On the road...

When I was a kid, I grew very a cccustomed to making road trips with my family members, and/or neighbors, and friends. I really miss traveling, seeing the world from other perspectives, and also the many sights, pleasant and not so pleasant. Having spent over a year without the ability to visually process the world around me, has really given me a tremendous appreciation for the ability to see, period. Yes, I'm still insanely frustrated. That I can't drive, but am still holding out hope, that won't always be the case. Only time will tell.

After a ridiculously busy week, my Dad arrived around 730 Friday eve. We zipped over to Boves, for tasy plate of pasta. It has a very Dinerish ambiance, but they specialize in pasta dishes. I was so pleased, to go there because when're he visits, we always hit the same 5 or so restaurants, and there are so many fantastic places, that are generally pretty reasonable to check out. Trying to break the grain here.

Saturday morning, we intended to hit the road for NYC, but I had dropped the ball in terms of planning anything, so, we headed straight to New Jersey, had dinner at an old family haunt of my dad and his brothers. The next day, we reconvened at my Uncle Stu's 50th birthday party. I never really got to closely know my dads side of the family, and while they've all been really supportive of my injury and progress, it's really difficult to envision, going to a large gathering, family, or not, where you don't personally know people, it can be somewhat intimidating. I had intended to wear my christmas atrocity outfit, but chickened out, a) because it wasn't a holiday party, it was a surprise 50th bday party for my uncle Stu, and, because I didn't reallly have a feel for the crowd, and felt nervous about standing out more than I already do. Admittedly, I tend to not give people the benefit of the doubt, and it kind of, well, bit me in the ass, because, people were very open, and welcoming. Several people approached me, and told me that they had read the blog, back in the days when Sean was telling

my story to all of you. And speaking of, I've thought of him a few times on this trip, mainly because the last time I was down this way, I was with him, and we passed his hometown on the highway. Weird, when things you work so hard to not think about, or personally address, come up and 'bite you' when you least expect it. Totally unpleasant, as I also met my cousin, who is about my age, for the first time too. Growing up, I never really had any opportunity to connect, or meet that side of my family, because my parents didn't really want anything to do with one another. Thankfully, they've resolved some of their issues,
and somehow managed to work together, in my best interest, when I ended up fighting for my life, Ive always felt that everyone did an amazing, and tremendous effort into coming together to support me, which I am unbelievably grateful for. It's like you don't realize hoy fortunate you are, until something profanely horrendous happens to you. As, I look back, and read my words, I feel they can be taken multiple ways, but my intent behind those words is only that I can't believe how supportive people were then, and often still are today.
Well, that's my weekend in NJ, now I'm back in my hometown, hanging out with my mom.
She's had unrelenting misfortune, or difficult sequence of events in the past few years, in dealing with her only daughters brain injury, losing her dad, having a seriously long-term relationship end, enduring chemotherapy and a mastectomy from breast cancer. She's getting back on her feet, so I'm super proud of her, but crazy jealous that her rehab. Is so much quicker than mine. I love being home to support her, but it hurts so much to watch her struggle, and get frustrated with the amount of time it takes to do things. I totally understand that, because I take a eternity to anything physical. Even writing, I think a million times faster than I can write it down, so even blogging takes multiple hours, which sucks, but I. Just have to tell myself the more I do, the more I do.
Yesterday I went with my mom to go check out her options for going to a gym, to do some PT, and help her rebuild some muscle. Of course the PT office at the gym was closed, so she headed to Xmas party with her co workers, while I stayed at the gym. After. 2hrs had passed I was so incredibly hungry, I couldn't function. My mom picked me up, and announced that. I had a teeth cleaning appointment. It took me couple moments to realize I had just changed dentists, and had this done recently, but I still had to go. Back to the office, so my mom could get hers done. I, unfortunately get somewhat irritable when I'm hungry, and demanded food, as compensation for waiting. Looking o home. It's still very comforting, and I appreciate my roots so much more now".
Today, I was soo excited to see my closest friend of all time. I feel so lucky to have the friends. And family that I do. I forget that occasionally when I'm back in Vermont, because I have support there, but it's not nearly as extensive as it is when I'm home. It's like a constant. Joyful stream of visitors this morning. My mom and I made pancakes and bacon, then her neighbors stopped by, then he home health muse, then my friend, who just came home from fantastic French horse and farming adventures. I was so envious, listening to her tales of life abroad with horses, but very happy they had such wonderful adventures, and even happier to see her again. While walking down the road, we got close to the river I heard someone call my name. I peered into an old lot with a camper, and recognized an old friend from childhood, who'd, apparently decided to. Return to the homeland to settle down. It was really fun to catch up, and see an old face from childhood. We both used to get dragged to her stepfathers auctions, and. Do our best to cause random annoyances, like switching tags, and misplacing things. Looking back, I'm sure that was insanely annoying for. The adults running things. I don't prefer to remember. Myself as the little devil, I apparently was. It's funny how you can always count on family. And friends to remember your finest and not so finest moments. Happy Holidays to whomever reads this! Wishing you a very joyous and happy. Holiday season! Thank you for your support!

3 comments:

Marti said...

Well done, Court - you're writings are so insightful and so important for all of us to read. Despite all of your physical limitations, you never give up and you always maintain such a positive attitude. I'm so, so proud of you. I always look to your example when I feel frustrated about something in my life. I hope your Christmas is the merriest of all! Talk to you soon!

Anonymous said...

HO HO HO

Julie/Mom said...

It has been so wonderful to have you home Court. Our roles have changed places....you are now taking care of me and watching out for my best interests. How ironic...but I am so grateful to have you and all my wonderful family and friends around. This has been the best Christmas in a long time! Thank you Courtney, you are a true miracle!
Love, Mom