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Monday, January 19, 2015

Mindset!?

Mindset

So, what's the secret to a positive mindset?

Trust me, if there was such a thing, it would not be a secret.

Part of my life, longevity, and happiness here in Burlington,I owe to a truly inspiring friend of mine.  She also a TBI (traumatic brain injury( survivor, we met in 2008, at my first TBI conference.  I think she had been named survivor of the year, that year.  She was in a different rehab program, but her family lived nearby.  Over the years, we've found common interests, and last year she enrolled in a residential mindfulness program, which is a monastic tutorial and teaching center.  They run The Center for Mindful Learning, which works to give students unclouded judgement, and a more sincere ability to remain focused, and mindfully complete a task (not do greater harm).

For me, he center has been an important guide, and refuge to sort out the tangled mess of crazy emotions that surface in my head.  On Sunday's, the centers visionary, and head monk leads a guided community meditation.  I've been attending the past couple years, with my friends family,as she is now a resident, working to further their mission.  The talks give us much to contemplate, whether a fable like tale, or an informative speech about world matters.  Tonight's talk struck me more like that of a TED talk, than anything else.  He discussed emotion, how it is perceived on the world platform, in the workplace, to our individual, or family lives.  In our culture emotionality runs the world.  How each of us is perceived, often has an enormous weight, behind our social standing.  The old me, did not give a shit about others perception, as in I really was not aware of this, I just did what I did, which was usually about 3 more responsibilities than I could manage effectively. There was no time to think about anything worth pondering, and if there was I was probably busy squandering it away at work, or the bars with friends.

Anyways, back to emotions, tonight's talk gave me some much needed perspective on the cognitive progress I've somehow made.  For most of us, emotions are linked to memories.  For me, tonight's meditation brought a deep sense of appreciation, and even whimsical longing for the months immediately after the onset of my injury.  WTF!?  Right?
I was a blank slate then.  It was as if emotionality was not a perceivable factor in my world.  That is why I rarely got upset over the severity, or lack of understanding of my injury, because those things no longer existed in my literally fractured mind.  The world was very basic then, yes I had incurred a severe brain injury, and  no one seemed to have any answers about it, but I did have love.  As a former cynic of 'the power of love', I'm inclined to cringe at the statement, 'all you need is love', though I certainly admit, you all have carried me through,this far!

As I was attempting to explain my previous experiences to the head monk, it struck me how grateful I am, not only for my survival, and the endless support, but also, amazingly enough, for the  new perspective.

3 comments:

Julie/Mom said...

The brain is an amazing thing. Yours, immediately after your injury may have seemed like a blank slate and was in many ways but it was busy regrouping and making all the necessary connections you had lost. Yes you did and still do have much love from everyone who knows you and those who are just beginning to read this blog. I am so proud of you and your perceptions and insights through this journey you and we are all on. I love your writings. Thank you for that and, as always..... love you the most.
Mom

Patricia McDonald said...

It's the big picture, isn't it? Our existence has so many facets. Meditation seems perfect. YOU could do a TED talk, dear!
Love, Patricia

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