Catch 22?

Wicked awesome powder day yesterday at smugglers. Notch. Rode in VT for 3+ seasons now. Never had a day of epic powder like yesterday. I don't think snowboarding has ever been so joyful. At one point I caught my front tip in a fluffy bank and was somehow launched into the air,sailing around 55ft. Before landing in a heap in the fluffy white stuff. Pretty sure I was laughing the whole time. Ad soon as the adaptive guy, realized I was okay, he snapped this pic of me in my final resting place, in a fit of laughter, at myself. It was do much fun, even the fall. Having never really experienced the joy of a powder day, and also, to be riding short intervals without hand-held assistance, just made me feel so free, and like my hard work might be starting to pay off. Though, I often feel like ZI can't win, no matter what I do, in regards to how others approach me, I get scrutiny for pushing for my independence, while I also receive it, when I'm wanting to placate a situation, and not pushing my true feelings.(which is not necessarily something I should be doing) although, occasionally I feel it's necessary to go along with whats being recommended at the time, to save myself the frustration of dealing with the social ramifications amongst those who are helping me with my various areas of rehab. The longer I'm on this program, I feel like I become less appreciative of my own accomplishments, as well as those who've helped me achieve them.