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Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Social experiment

Here's how I feel, I lookThis spring, I'm enrolled in a public speaking course at UVM.  I took a similar course in my undergrad, although, I'd clearly lost any skill, or confidence I may have gained from that course.  I really enjoy telling my story, , as it's many things, from shocking, to horrifying, to hilarious, to moving.  The path I walk today, is anything, but expected, and I enjoy raising awareness, but, let's face it, I speak in a relatively unique way now.  My voice is profoundly more clear now, than it was, even a year year ago.

I still have to actively think about the volume of my voice, remembering to breathe deeply while speaking, and take into consideration, how to move my lips and mouth, to form each word.  It's a lot to remember, and on top of that, I have to retain  what I'd planned to say, and try to remain organized. Enough to convince my group, and class why beauty pageants are a positive influence within society.  Frankly, I could not care less about pageants, I remember appreciating 'miss Congeniality' for its raw humor,  and demonstrating that not all women, are poised, and move fluidly, with coordination.  'Little Miss Sunshine'  was another fantastic pageantry comedy, that made fun of the trivial absurdities, and unique personality traits, so well.

Realistically, if pageants make some people happy, then those people should appreciate them.  I had to tell my group why I appreciate beauty pageants, and name positive aspects of them.  Apparantly there's a fair amount of scholarship money in them, for winners.  I also decided I should look the part, so I put on some make up, and fussed over my appearance, before I went to class.  Call me crazy, but it seems if I have to care about beauty pageants, then I should appear to care about my own appearance.  I hope that I do, anyways, but makeup has never been part of who I am, or want go be, at least on a daily basis.  I felt like a kid, playing dress up, but it put me in the right frame of mind, and it didn't hurt that some kid literally tripped himself, running around me, to open the door for me. People are generally very kind, with holding the door for me, but the enthusiasm, and lack of coordination, combined, struck me as hilarious, in that moment.  He did make it, but I was a bit dumbfounded, watching it take place.

The many faces of me
Here's how I usually look
Here's how I feel like I appear (that's me on the far left)
This is what I wore to present my beauty pageant advocacy speech.
still feel like I little kid playing dress up.  This lifestyle is so bizarre, although,I'm clearly not the only person out there with image confusion issues.  Yesterday, I was walking to the corner market, and walked around a person wearing a banana costume.  As I was told, dress for success.  Not sure what dressing like a piece of fruit gets you, maybe some funny comments, and possibly a free banana?  Hard to say with that one.


Julie/Mom said...

I love the pics of you Arden and Helen...very attractive! It's interesting to understand just how much of an effort it is for you to talk, let alone speak in public... so much to think about. I just listened to the BBC radio about how people have a "fear" or awkwardness to speaking to people with disabilities. It was a good listen. It's on their FB page I think. See if you can find it.
As always, thank you for you thoughts and posting them.
Love you the most! Mom

Anonymous said...

You get my vote!

Patricia Mcdonald said...

Court, you are soo brave. I cannot even make a comment in a crowded room, much less speak in front of one! I think you made a great choice taking this class and challenging yourself. Can we get a transcript of "your story"? Maybe you could post it here or on a video??
Hope to see you soon...
Love, Patricia

Cynthia Bush said...

thank you for this post! I needed a little bit of inspiration. I know you posted this a while ago but with being in school, and then the rest of life I get a bit busy. This posting
really made me smile, and also get a bit more grounded for some reason. I, too, have never been a make up person, and loved the Miss Congeniality movies. I really like seeing how people naturally look.
As always, I love reading what you have to say. I hate public speaking, and have to do it some in my OT program. You inspire me to get up and be able to talk. This particular post was just what I needed tonight. LOVE your writing, Courtney! Thank you for sharing!
Cindy ( Bush/Groblewski)