Out with the old, in with the new

This past Sunday,  I had plans to reconect with a friend I had not seen since spring.  A good 4 months went by.  She got a new job, and found herself working 2 jobs for a short time, and I went to Colorado for a writers workshop with a fantastic new friend, Sandy, and to do some adaptive horseback riding with Mike Farlander at the Adaptive Sports Center in Crested Butte, again.  I need to write about that trip, too.  After, I got back, I was back, and forth to Maine 3 times, and generally, felt lost no matter where I was.  I did a lot of soul searching, and am still torn between pursuing school, in the field of public health. and trying to become an inspirational figure, through writing, and outdoor recreation.   I thought about going to med school to become an osteopath,but as soon as I started getting into studying the MCAT material, it made me remember why I'd changed out of the pre med track. 

 At 17, I went to UVM on they're veterinary track.  I loved horses.  Giving my bratty Morgan horse up, to come to UVM, had been extremely emotional for me.  Then, just as I began my junior year at UVM, I got  lost in my decisions, and abandoned school, for a job as a stable hand, in southwest England.  I just needed to get away from my crazy, scattered lifestyle in college, and find out if I belonged on the farm instead.  I loved spending everyday on the farm, feeding, cleaning, riding, and running errands.  I was mostly there because   I often  got to ride 3 times a day. The most hilarious event I participated in was the British Eventing Ball.  It was literally a ball, where the woman wore gowns, and the men wore tuxedos. I remember finding it hilarious knowing that hours before, many of us had been up to our knees in soggy manure.  I also felt like my attire declared my nationality, in an absurd fashion.  I brought one dress, to England, and, it was a little black one.  All the other women wore gorgeous gown, think prom dress, and the multiply how fabulous those are by 4.  Nonetheless, I still had a wonderful time, despite the constant declararation of, 'oh, you must be the American.'  Assumably, because I was 20, and legally intoxicated.  And that wasn't even the most amusing part of my year.  I had 3 close friends studying abroad that year, and was able to travel, and see each of them.  I also got to validate my decision of taking a year off, in that I couldn't afford to pay for school, if I did not know what I wanted from it.  I went home in May, and worked 2 serving jobs (waitress) to save money to live on, back at school.  Wheni went back, I stuck with college of agriculture, and life sciences, but I switched my focus to public communications, and enabled myself to broaden my view of the world. I got a job at a local barn to help myself remember to stay grounded.  My focus was better, and my GPA nearly doubled, after swiching my studies.  In my final semester, I got the opportunity to study abroad too.  I went to Belize, to a small private college, with 15 other UVM kids.  When classes ended, I traveled with a friend for 2 weeks, returning days before graduation.  The day I returned, I met Sean, who I was dating when my heart stopped.  Irony is incredible sometimes.  I'd returned to my per diem job as a secretary at the hospital, while I looked for a more life sustaining career.  Just when I found it, I acquired this injury.

In June, I saw a doctor recommend by at friend, to get back on a prescription contraceptive.  I didn't know a lot about it, but I asked for prescription for Orthtrycyclin, as it had helped tremendously, the year before iwith unpleasant woman issues.  This doctor said that she could only offer me Yaz, I remember asking if it was similar to Yasmin, which I'd seen lawsuit commercials for.  She said, yes, but that they had changed the formula, and the name since.  In what I now recognize as terrible judgement, I allowed myself to be satisfied with that answer.  I say that because after 4 months of absurd nausea, when I took it, I suffered a random cardiac arrest, my heart just stopped, from an extreme potassium deficiency.  It was later determined, that those effects were cased by that same contraceptive, Yaz.  Looking back, I think I'd rather have had a kid, than have become one again, myself.

This is my history, I acquired an anoxic brai injury because my heart stopped, and failed to get oxygenated blood to my brain.  I owe the life I have now to countless people- Sean, my mom, my dad, my aunt, and  my incredible friends from all facets of my life, my doctors, nurses,therapists, and adaptive recreation professionals.  I am so thankful for them all, as each one has had a hand in helping me become who I am today.  Thank you all, it's been a long trying road, and may always be, but still worth it, everyday I can help someone else see that no matter how bad it gets, there's always something to keep pushing for.