Alright, alright, this is my first entry of the week, and I was focused last week. I definitely suffer from poor time-management skills. In general, this not a newly acquired fault of mine, since my brain injury, it has gone from a mildly annoying trait that people put up with, to a nearly weekly occurrence, that inconveniences health-care professionals, and general acquaintances. I seem to have gained a reputation as the 'typical' medicaid patient, that being someone doesn't particularly care about making an effort to appear at their scheduled appointments. Granted, I do have difficulty with this, I consistently confuse times and dates of app.'s, or show up early or late to activities because I confuse the times and dates of many things. Tonight, for example, I wnt to the water aerobics class, I go to nearly every thursday night at 6:30. For whatever reason, my brain decided it was at 5:30. I got there at 5 and arranged for a ride home around 7. My first inclination that I had misinformation about the times. I was in the pool. I hate that I confuse times so easily, and so often, Oh, the woe's in life.
I spent most of my week working on a paper for my health-care policy class. Such a reli3f to have that finished. More tomorrow about adaptive snowboarding.

Yay school

Had a productive Saturday, my roommate and I put in a thrilling 8 hr day. I was trying to organize my paper, which has many requirements for each particular segment. I'm finding I don't mind the research, or the actual writing itself, however, the process that i fashion. I'm always afraid I'll forget thoughts that are related, but don't necessarily remember to go and pull these random taglines out. Probably looking towards a similar day tomorrow. Yup, I lead a truly exciting life presently.

Finally Friday!

Alright, I'm getting ready to turn in for my end to this fabulous friday evening. My day was spent working on a paper for my healthcare management class, with a break at noon to meet with a job developer, who is hopefully "the" person to have when you suffer from extenuating services. Quite frankly, I walked into this appointment, because I've endured 2 years of friendly chats with vocational rehab, as I moaned about yesterday. I received answers which satisfied my doubts, and came home with a definitive "action" plan, and an appointment next week, so with anyluck, I'll soon enough be detailing my days as a person with gainful employment. Well, one can only hope. We came back to the apartment and put in a couple hrs on my paper, I fee like such a slacker, having others type for, I also feel rather exposed speaking my train of thoughts, and then composing a sentence with my piece-meal thoughts. After a couple hrs of that, I got a ride to the gym, where I stumbled upon a spin class. I interrupted the class and started riding. It was fantastic to actually be part of a pysical actity and not be totally self coscious about my ability to participate and keep up with the class. There was also an aerobic portion tat my bala could'nt hndle so I made an idiot of myself gracelessly climbing on and off the bike, and awkwardly trying to handle free weights and do lunges. After a couple reps I tried staying on the bike and prolonginging my aerobic workout. I got home and continued my workout at the gym in my apartment complex. I headed to the tradmill, since I wont be walking outside any ttime soon, with all of the snow and ice. Alright, that's enough of my gripping day. Reading my thought, they are appearing pedestrian, empty, and lacking any depth. Well there's something to work on.

BOOTS WITH THE FURRR...

Well, it was a pretty standard day in terms of me not allotting my time properly. I have a massive paper due on Monday, and I type extremely slowly, and was also informed that aide perceives my ability to reflect and understand concepts to be sub par, and shared these thoughts with my brain injury team, minus myself. As horrified as I am, it did strike me as a wake-up call. Once I finished my initial tirade, it really struck me that I truly do not understand how to present myself to the world. I understand how my mind works, though lately it feels like a constant barrage of of thoughts and connections from my "previous life". I've ultimately concluded that while it amazing to feel like myself again, many good things and many bad traits have returned. For example, insecurities. For the longest time I was really unable wrap my head around the fact that I know suffer from a disability, that most people are llkely to notice. I had not the slightest inkling that the gravity of my situation would allude to such circumstances that I never could've imagined n in my forseeable future. Life certainly has an interesting book of tricks
To rapidly conclude my strangely detailed list daily activities, I decideded to take part in water aerobics class at the YMCA. One of the best decisios I've made all year. Though, seriously my fluidity in motion, balance improvements, and my reaction to step if I feel off balance, have all improved, and I have yet to get a black eye, though, I'm sure it's possible. I suppose I'll wraptp this up now and back to stressing about my paper.

Wicked Wednesday...

Alright, I'm trying oh, so very hard to write everyday this week. For a recap of my day (I'm sure if anyone actually bothers to read this, that is not the most thrilling lead-in to a story, but, hey, ya win some, ya lose some. Yup, getting more captivating with ever word. My day began with deciding I wanted to make minestrone in the crock pot, while eating my breakfast and listening to my 'life skills trainer' read me the bill I've chosen to review and critique for the health care policy class I'm enrolled in. Probably one of the most productive mornings I've ever had. If you know me, I'm not what is considered a morning person, and I dislike coffee, not the greatest combo, when I need to interact with others. Moving on, we finished the bill, I came up with a mess of questions regarding the bill, and then rushed out the door to meet with my vocational rehab counselor at noon, which, I, for the umpteenth time appeared to have the of transcribed incorrectly. Although, for once, I had not missed it, which was a relief, because, when you desperately want a job, and a state agent is supposed to meet with montly to evaluate your abilities, it reflects quite poorly on you, when you incorrectly tanscribe the date and time incorrectly, or better yet, forget to look at my calendar. And I wonder why no one will hire me. In other news, I have a new fairly crazy, but VERY exciting goal of running a half marathon this August. I'm relearning how to balance myself, so I presently run with a baby-less jogger. I n lieu 0f a baby, I have 10 gallons of water in it, for weight. I get to be referred to as babyless jogger girl instead of walker girl, which haunted me all last year. Was certainly worth it though, because I no longer need it these days.

Just another day

Another standard Tuesday:: horse-back riding was canceled due to the obscene amount of snow we got yesterday (18-23 inches). Next, I was informed that the adaptive yoga class I attend, was also canceled, for a similar reason, that being inability to leave the driveway. In lieu of the events I look forward to each Tuesday, I sent the first part of my day reading a new bill recently put out by the Vermont legislature, and their planned changes for the states health-care costs. I imaine this sounds completely mundane to most of you, however,as someone who receives state funded health care from 3 different sources, and still gets turned down occasionally, it is necessary in my case, and even gives me a leg-up in my education. and with any luck, I'll be able to more efficiently help others, having gone through the unbelievable hassle of the system myself. Well, lookie there, I've established one of my wierd little dreams, a uniform, just healthcare system for all. Well, that'll be the day. Moving on from my slight divergance there, I then went to speech, where I got to practice openly working into a conversation (with a stranger, the fact that I have a brain injury, and that my voice is a liitle difficult to follow at times. My initial reaction is a bit like, "boo-hiss, I'd rather not have to introduce myself, that way." For some reason, introducing myself as someone who's suffered a brain injury is waay outside of my comfort zone. Although, recently, I've become acutely aware of much I do stand out as a result f my disabilities, and ultimately decided I don't need to be judging myself for things I have no ontrol over, besides, the rest of my little world seems to have a handle ot. You've got to pick your battles.

I LOVE SNOW DAYS

Today is a snow day for me. Ordinarily I spend 6 hrs in class, though it's also UVM spring break. However, today's weather, which shut the city down. There was a red alert this morning prohibiting motorists from attempting to use roads, because the city was having difficulty getting to their snow removal equipment. Alas, I've been more than pleased to be holed up in the apartment.Well, I'm new to the idea of sharing my thoughts with the world, though here I am. My friends, family and therapists all say that looking back on the progress I've made is a really important part of moving forward. I am now 3 1/2 years into my rehab. It's extremely odd to me how long it has taken for me to realize the severity of my injury mentally. I've never been all that forthcoming with my feelings, and looking back all I can see is where voicing my thoughts would've benefited me vastly. Early on, tthose thoughts and opinions simply weren't available to me. Knowing that my opinions were being overlooked and or disregarded because of my inability to verbalize them has got to be one of the most fruSTrtrating experience one can endure. Add a loss of all motor ability, and a lack of clarity of speech and weclome to my world. My words here wont ever give justice to the anguish (in every sense of the word) that is endured. These past few month my brain has figured out connections to feelings again, which is great at first. Then, I get out in the world and am suddenly nervous about how strangers view me, and finding myself fuming when people talk over me, or less than tactfully close me out of a conversation, whereas, I barely even noticed or cared when others treated me with such disregard a few months ago. I'm not entirely sure how wrap this up, I guess to put things in my perspective, I sti have truely haneous days, many mediocre days, as well as the less often, though always revered amazing days. I never would've viewed myself as some who took things in life for granted. Looking back, my definition of taking life for granted was so skewed. I foolishly assumed that because I had put time and energy into learning something, I would more or less always have that ability. I now have to consider myself extremely fortunate that my brain still has the capacity to create new pathways. Let me tell you, coming around to a concept like that is slow painstaking work, but the only other option is lying around in a heap, always needing help. Let's face it, if you actually know, I don't really have to say, "why bother?" Well, on that charming note, I'm off to go flounder in the snow for a bit.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY COURTNEY

24 YEARS OLD!! PLEASE JOIN ME IN WISHING COURTNEY A HAPPY BIRTHDAY AND A FANTASTIC NEW YEAR OF HOPE, JOY AND RECOVERY.

As I think back on the year that has passed, I am amazed at both how quickly it has gone and also how slowly it seems to have gone for Court. She has come such a long way but has an even longer way to go. Court is still legally blind. She has only tunnel vision at best. What she does see is very clear and she's now wearing extended wear contacts. She walks with the help of someone guiding her when on unfamiliar territory. At her home she is able to get around on her own, except on the stairs. It takes her a long time to get dressed and to eat meals but she does it by herself. Her therapies consist of physical therapy, occupational therapy and horseback riding therapy. We are looking into swimming as well, especially since the weather will be getting colder soon (ugh)...
One thing that I think Court would love to do is get back into working some type of job. We aren't sure what that may be yet but vocational counseling will help with that.
I would like to ask everyone who has been traveling this journey with Courtney to send her a special prayer this day. I would like everyone to join in and send her birthday wish of continued positive recovery! Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart!
Love, Julie/Mom

Court's back from Aruba..

Courtney headed out to Aruba last Sunday with her high school friends by her side to attend a wedding. They were there for four days and had a wonderful time. The weather was great and the wedding was beautiful. Needless to say none of them wanted to come home. It was the first outing for Court without family, just friends and I'm sure she enjoyed herself to no end. It was a much needed R&R for her and the rest of her cronies!
She had come home to Maine for a week before that and had some R&R, Maine style,visiting with her Dad and Martha as well. While here she went horseback riding twice with a great friend of ours. She was walking and trotting by herself! Then her old riding instructor came to watch and say hi to Court. They hadn't seen each other since before the event a year ago. That's Pam and her pony with Court above.
Speaking of a year ago, it's been almost exactly one year since Court had a cardiac arrest. We are celebrating a year of phenominal recovery,determination,hard work and most of all LIFE. We are all so grateful to have Courtney with us and watch her continue to recover and improve. This is such an arduous, long road for her. Please continue to read and comment on this blog even though it is not updated as often as it used to be, comments are ALWAYS WELCOME and make this blog more interesting. Without comments it's hard to post things so please let us know you are keeping track of our girl. Thanks to all who have kept up with this blog. God Bless....
Always, Julie/Mom

Courtney Update...

Hi to all you faithful Courtney fans.
It has been way too long since we have written about Court's progress. Basically her progress is still happening but still on a much slighter scale. She is refining some of her techniques, always striving to do better. I don't see her very often, it is very hard for me not be nearer to her but more than anything Courtney wants her independence back. With her will, stubborness (where did she get that from??) and determination, she will be there faster than anyone imagined. She is still the miracle girl and I am constantly amazed by her spirit. Things are getting very routine for her and I'm sure she'd like to move on faster. As we all know, patience is a virtue.
Courtney is coming home this Sat. to Maine for a week long visit. I will go over to pick her up Friday and hopefully attend two therapies with her.
I hope to post more later on her trip to Michigan last month for a mini family reunion and a memorial service for her Grandfather and Grandmother.
Thanks to all who keep this constant vigil over Courtney. Your prayers and thoughts are greatly appreciated and still very much a large part of her recovery. Please continue to do so. Bless you all.
Love, Julie/Mom

Fare well Joel....

We have lost a very good friend this past weekend. One of Courtney's oldest friends (since grade school) passed away. We are shocked and devastated at the news. A more compassionate person you wouldn't find. Joel was a benevelant young man who would do anything for his friends and did. He was key in helping execute the two benefits for Courtney this past winter and early spring as well as hosting the two events. He helped raise quite a bit of money for the fund, along with all the other friends of Courtney who put in their hard work, time and effort.
Joel is off to sail other oceans we cannot see...He has other agendas to tend to, others to help. Thank you my dear Joel. Sweet dreams, we all miss you terribly.
Julie/Mom

A Dining Adventure !

Courtney's trip home went way too fast! She was here a week ago Monday and gone last Sunday. I had to work Tues.- Thurs. so I didn't get to spend as much time with her as I would have liked to, but it beat a blank!
On Tues. she slept in until after 12 noon, probably for the first time since the arrest.(obviously not including the coma). The rest was much needed and appreciated by her but getting her to bed at a decent hour the next night wasn't easy and I had to get up early to go to work. So it was decided she wouldn't sleep that late the following mornings.
We had a great evening at the cottage in Damariscotta with friends who made one of Court's favorite dinners: burgers and dogs! It was mucho fun and delicious! Thanks Tom and crew! Wed. she dined at Moody's for lunch and then for dinner the Whale's Tooth Pub in Lincolnville Beach with her Dad,Martha and crew and Uncle Scott and wife Carolyn from Santa Fe. Thurs.after work more friends and neighbors arrived to wish Court happy returns,etc. so we just enjoyed the evening at home. Great to see everyone! Fri. Court and I lounged around in the morning and then went to Augusta to peruse the new(to us) Target store, one of our favorites! We had fun there and came home to join best friend Patricia and Jim for her birthday celebration dinner at the Silver Lane Bistro. YUM! We had a great time eating our way through the week! Sat. morning Court met her high school friends for breakfast in Washington at a new cafe called Sweet Seasons. Blueberry pancakes apparently hit the spot! She was then off to Belfast to meet her Dad and go sailing (tough duty) and on to have some well earned lobstah dinnah at the Lobster Pound.
She is back in Burlington now and hopefully put a few pounds! She is doing very well in her therapies. I couldn't believe how well she is going up and down stairs and actually doing some jogging! She is truly amazing and we are all very hopeful about the future of this incredible woman who has defied ALL the odds. Let's pray that she continues to do so. With everyones help and support I'm sure she will go far! Thank you for your continued support and vigilance of her.
Bless you all,
Julie/Mom

Court's coming to Maine...

Hi All,
I know it's been a long time since an update was added. Courtney has been doing well continues to progress. It is a slow, steady, hard road to go for her. She continues to do her therapies and routine exercises.
I wanted people in the Maine area to know that I will be bringing her home for a brief visit on June 16th. She will be here until that weekend, not sure which day she'll head back to Burlington, VT. So anyone in the midcoast area or further is welcome to come visit or call her on her cell. She and we would love to see and/or hear from you. Thanks for keeping Courtney in your thoughts and prayers. It really does make a difference!
Love, Julie/Mom

Horseback Riding Photos

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Originally uploaded by SeanCooley

Photo Slide Show here

Getting Back on the Horse

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Courtney paid a visit to Windswept Farm in Williston today, the horse farm where she worked in 2006, to start her therapeutic riding program. Physical therapist Keta, lesson instructor Tina and good friend/aide Ann were all on hand to help her mount Walter, a 25-year-old Morgan horse. Court says he's a kind and gentle beast.

It was a short, but sweet ride, Courtney was grinning ear to ear, she may have been a centaur in a past life, who knows. She'll be riding again this Friday and the Friday after, so more photos and videos may follow.

-Sean